HAPPILY CONTENT TO BE
A fiddler on the roof. Sounds crazy, no? But in our little village of Anatevka, you might say every one of us is a fiddler on the roof, trying to scratch out a pleasant simple tune without breaking his neck. You may ask, why do we stay up there if it's so dangerous? We stay because Anatevka is our home...
This is a very good metaphor and also the opening lines to Fiddler on the Roof, a musical, and the show we are currently rehearsing for at my school. I couldn't tell you how but somehow I've gained a lead role (I don't like the phrase 'main part' because I think that any part in the show, no matter how many lines - if any - helps to portray the story to the audience, if anyone was out of character, shows would lose the magic. But a lead role? well I feel they simply lead the cast and the story to help it take shape) however, I do know it came from a little step out of my comfort zone and I sometimes now, even when rehearsing and knowing I have that role shake a little, thinking: 'am I good enough?' or 'should I be doing this?'. I often have the mindset that things happen for a reason, even if we don't know the reason, and we need to use events like this (although it's a very very positive one) to learn and shape ourselves into a better person, so luckily those feelings don't last long. The universe has dealt me this hand, so this hand I shall play. I'm using this to build my confidence.
I love to act. I love the feeling of becoming a character and totally immersing myself into their world. I'd like to think that it provides me with experiences and feelings that I wouldn't have previously understood and hopefully it makes me a more empathetic person. I also enjoy music. The places notes can take you and the different emotions in every bar. Music can speak when words can't, maybe you could even call it healing. Together they are beautiful and can create art. I've mostly experienced musicals as part of the whole cast: ensemble, it's like a massive family, part of me has always wanted to have the experience of a lead role, to see what it is like and to really take myself on a journey and now I'm here, it's exciting but also nerve-wracking. I know it's a school show, I think for most people that really wouldn't be too big of a deal but for me, as I've said, I think I'm going to gain a lot from this.
When I have moments of doubt or worry in my life, I talk to my friends but there are certain things that I like to address on my own and self doubt in my ability is one of them (not always, but in this situation: yes). Addressing my thoughts I often turn to quotes. They can simplify things, spin thoughts in a positive direction or just provide motivation. The one I found for this situation: 'if it doesn't challenge you, it won't change you'. I don't want to be changed, but in a way I do, I really do. I want to have the ability to step up on that stage and not shake when uttering my first line. I want to sing my heart out without coming off of the stage thinking 'oh dear... that was awful', instead believing I can improve but that was the first step towards it. Constructive criticism instead of confidence-knocking comments.
So, after reading this post I'd love it if you could take a step out of your comfort zone, it can only be small and let go. Let things happen, you never know, you might enjoy it.
If you do, i'd love to hear about it in the comments below, or just even what you're going to try.
Hugs, E xo