NOTE TO SELF: 2018
A letter to myself. Not to be read until January 1st 2019.
First of all, HAPPY NEW YEAR!! I hope with all of my heart that this next year is good to you and although it may seem as though everyone is setting new years resolutions, a new year doesn't necessarily mean that you have to create a 'new you'. Just continue growing yourself into a person you are proud to be. Think of your bonsai tree, at the start of a new year, season, month or week you don't throw him away if he's lost a few leaves or dulled a little, you spend time caring for him; providing him with what he needs: sunlight, water and nutrients. Care for yourself, in a sense, be more tree. It is difficult, but if 2017 has shown you anything it is that you are capable and worthy of feeling happy and good enough.
In a sentence 2017 can be described as simultaneously the best and worst year of your life (so far). So much has happened, difficult moments of sadness and loss coupled with wonderful memories filled with joy and achievement truly demonstrated the definition of an 'emotional roller-coaster'. This past year you have allowed yourself to feel those emotions and accept that you are an emotional person. It is no longer something to be ashamed of or to hide away. I suppose this would be a good place to share the highlights of 2017, but don't forget that like most social media this is the version you're choosing to share. This is the positive narrative of your life and it doesn't include everything.
The year didn't pick up speed until mid way through. Ambling along and taking in the surroundings, things were happening and at the time you probably felt swept off of your feet but in retrospect it was calm. Filled with sleepovers, trips into the village, into town, weekly choir rehearsals and competitions, essays and homework, nothing too crazy was occurring. July, however, was a month I don't even have the words to describe and thinking about it now brings both a stupid smile to my face and floods of tears to my eyes. Ecuador. Esmeraldas, Galapagos, The Andes, The Amazon!! Every minute spent fundraising, stressed and worried was worth it. I would do it again in a heart beat. Arriving back and then launching into your final school year was fast but fun. Taking part in Fiddler on the Roof and landing the part you most wanted to play, alongside the most incredible and supportive cast topped of the term. I can't believe there were moments you were considering not doing it, or that you aren't good enough. Just believe and you will be.
Carry those feelings of elation and confidence into this next year. Although you've removed the idea of New Years Resolutions from your life (they can't be kept after 3 weeks anyway...) the start of a month is still a pretty good time to assess where you are at, where you have been and where you are going. January, in effect, is the Monday of the year but change can take place on any day of the week you choose, just put your mind to it and try. Try in your exams, your compassion, your understanding and your life.
Give yourself a chance with monthly goals, smaller chunks are much easier to process.
- Settle yourself into a routine of practising bedtime yoga every night. It's relaxing, allows reflection and seems to be bring you a more peaceful nights sleep.
- Switch off the phone in the evenings and pick up your book instead. It can be tricky but remember the way in which a book can draw you in. The goal this year is to read at least one book a week.. 52 books!
- Don't forget to write in your Q&A A Day Journal, you'll love looking back over it in 5 years.
Best of luck over the next year, next month, next day. Smile more and allow yourself time, put your mind to anything and you can achieve it.